Are You Man Enough to Challenge Too Short?
by Byron Hurt | special to NewBlackMan
Most of you know that, in addition to documentary filmmaking, I facilitate a lot of gender violence prevention and education workshops with young boys and men - across race, class, and educational levels. Over the years, I've been in the room with, literally, thousands of boys and men, creating and leading conversations about masculinity, the prevention of physical and sexual violence against girls and women, and homophobia. Most importantly, I encourage non-abusive men to work to change the male peer culture that makes physical and sexual violence against women socially acceptable. Take it from me, a long-time anti-sexist activist, educating boys and men about sexism and physical and sexual violence toward girls and women means that you are swimming upstream. The work requires prioritizing these issues as important to discuss, and constant, consistent reinforcement.
Just this past weekend, in a workshop with 8-9 year old boys in Brooklyn, NY, one young boy bragged about his girlfriend being "cute with a big butt." The other boys laughed. I stopped him in his tracks and challenged him about his comment right in front of the other boys and men in the room. The moment he made his comment, he probably did not think that a man would challenge him for making such a trite, objectifying statement. The question is, where did he learn that having a cute girlfriend with a big butt was something to brag about publicly, and that by doing so it would gain him social acceptance and approval from the other boys and men in the room? It starts with poor "fatherly" advice from men like Too Short, who felt that his recent comments in a video posted on XXL.com would go unchallenged - especially by men.
While the comments Too Short made may strike some boys and men as funny and conventional male thinking, they are not. But unfortunately, too many sexist men in positions of influence and power reinforce to young boys what acceptable masculinity looks like. Too many men are teaching boys - at home, at school, on the playground, through porn culture, sports culture, military culture, fraternity culture, police culture, and mainstream media outlets like XXL - that physical and sexual aggression toward girls and women is okay.
This has to stop. And it stops when men who care about girls and women speak up and voice our disapproval and take action when we hear misogyny out of the mouths of other men who do not represent us or our view on manhood. If you are a man who strongly disagrees with Too Short's comments and find them disturbing, then please sign this online petition and share it with your male friends.
Show your support for the girls and women in your life that you know and love, as well as to the girls and women across the country who are outraged by Too Short's comments. Show them that we do not all think and act like Too Short and other men who espouse such sexist viewpoints. And finally, question and challenge sexism and misogyny wherever you see it, because men need to hear more men who are confident enough to stand in support of girls in women's human rights.
***
Byron Hurt is the New York-based producer and award-winning documentary filmmaker. Hurt is a former Northeastern University football star and long-time gender violence prevention educator. For more than five years, he was the associate director and founding member of the Mentors in Violence Prevention program, the leading college-based rape and domestic violence prevention initiative for professional athletics. He is also the former associate director of the first gender violence prevention program in the United States Marine Corps. His next film in Soul Food Junkies.
